I never could have imagined how hard this was going to be. It seems that there is something new to face each day. Learning to live with the reality that I am not going back to the hospital in June to bring home my baby boy, because the reality is I'm going to be bringing him home on Friday from the funeral home. For the last 7 months I've patted my belly and told him what I was doing, where we were going, everything. Now I catch myself starting to do that, but my belly is soft and flatter and just feels so empty.
I have my husband and I thank God that I do. Without him, I could not handle this. We have laughed and cried on each other. We've done everything together the last few days. But he had to go back to work today, I did not want him to leave, but I think he wanted to stay here more than I wanted him to.
We have had an amazing amount of support and prayers from our family and friends. It amazes me and fills my heart when I get on here and I read the comments from people that I've never met before and some that I have, and I see that they have posted on their blogs requesting prayers for my family. I can't even begin to tell you how much that it all means to Eric and I, and my whole family. I sometimes forget, not really forget, but don't think of how this has affected my daughter Morgan. She lost her baby brother and she is grieving too. My heart breaks for her, she was so excited about him. She was going to be a great big sister!
I will get back to blogging about normal everyday life at some point, but right now this is my everyday life.
I just want to Thank you all for being here for me and my family.
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14 comments:
Hi Robin, I'm a part of the potholder pass group and I just wanted to stop by and express my deepest sympathies for your loss. Your story hits very close to home as the exact same thing happened to my best friend 2 years ago. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
Again, there are no words for this kind of loss - yet I want you to know that I care and prayers are being said. sandie♥
Robin I am so very sorry to read this devastating news. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
oxo Tara
Sweetie just take care of yourself, your daughter and husband. I am praying for you and hope time will ease some of the pain.
My thoughts are with you today as you bring your baby boy home from the funeral home. I have been thinking of your daughter and how hard this must be for her. Please take good care of yourself and eachother. We are all continuing to pray for you.
Hi Robin, I'm from the Potholder Pass group, too. I am so very sorry for your profound loss. Your sweet words have touched my heart. Take good care in this time of family grieving. I wish you peace.
~Krista
Hi Robin, I am also from the potholder pass group. I know from experience that there are really no words that I can write that will comfort you at this time. The same thing happened to me four years ago. Time will heal. Lean on your family and friends. You and your family will be in my prayers. I wish you peace and comfort.
~Jamie
Robin, it will get easier. We can never understand God's plan and that will always be the hardest part. No one can replace your loss or truly understand it but time will help, I promise. You're always in my prayers.
Still praying for you...
Rene'
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I also delivered my second child at around 6 1/2 months. He lived nine hours. I want to encourage you if I can. I won't tell you that you'll ever "get over" it. He will grow up in your mind as the years pass, he'll always be real to you and you will never forget. But, the day will come when it won't feel so heavy. You'll find yourself able to breathe again. Though I still miss Michael 31 years later, I can talk about him and smile. I look forward to holding him in Heaven. He's a blessing in my life now instead of just a tragedy. Give yourself time, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Don't try to "feel better". Enjoy the little joys that come along every day if you can, but let yourself grieve. Talk about him. All we have left of these children of ours is their birth stories and it's important to retell it now and then. And if you ever feel other people are getting tired of hearing about it, come on over to my blog and tell me. I'll listen as many times as you need to tell it.
God bless you and your family.
Dianne
Hi Robin, Mary shared your story with me and I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. I too lost a little angel, Austyn Nicole at 28 weeks gestation. My husband and I waited nearly ten years before starting a family and had our worlds shaken when we found out our baby girl had passed. God has carried us through it all and chose to bless us again, this time with a baby boy born full term and healthy! He is now 15 months and the center of our world! But, through it all I am thankful to God for the experience so that I may share my story with others and glorify Him! Knowing that I will one day see my little angel in Heaven helps me get through the tough days! Just remember, it's okay to greive and above all else just TRUST IN HIM!!!
Just stopping by to let you know that I'm thinking of you Robin.
I'm also here from the Potholder Pass group. Your story hit home with me because my brother and his wife lost their baby girl 7 months into the pregnancy. River was born October 8 and it was devastating to never get to meet her.
All my love to you and your family.
Just came across your blog and read this as I was going through your posts. So sorry for your loss, especially for your daughter. I had a baby back in Sept., almost 10 years after my first, and I know the excitement it has brought my daughter to have a sister, so I feel so sorry that you've had to go through this. But, I know although you'll never forget your son, time will help heal the pain. Hang in there. LOL!
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